"Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing."

Movie Review: "The Pink Panther 2"
(Lawrentian, published Feb. 20, 2009)

The Academy Awards, airing this Sunday, Feb. 22, is an event I was excited for well before nominations were even announced in January. But you really do need to be in a particular mood to screen any of the Oscar nominees. Each of them is heavy, intellectually demanding, and to some degree intense. Sometimes you just need a little fluff.

"The Pink Panther 2" is bubblegum humor and is pleasantly predictable. True, half the time it depends on obvious or over-the-top humor. Also true, some of the setups can be spotted far in advance. For example, I successfully identified the true villain within his/her first five seconds onscreen. However, this is part of the charm. It is the type of movie you go to for some simple, good-natured frivolity.

Yes, you know that Inspector Clouseau will yet again, despite all appearances, solve the case and rescue the Pink Panther diamond. However, the fun part of the movie is seeing how he manages to do this despite all of his mishaps. Inspector Clouseau is not very suave or subtle and he walks into a lot of obvious goofs. Yet he manages to solve the case and get the girl. It has an all-around happy ending.

It also bodes well for this sequel that almost the entire original cast returned. Steve Martin reprises his role as Jacques Clouseau, Jean Reno returns as Ponton - the faithful, deft sidekick - and Emily Mortimer yet again provides the innocent romantic interest, Nicole. The main change in casting is the replacement of Kevin Cline by John Cleese - a switch which does not go unnoticed.

To be fair, seamlessly replacing cast members is hard to do in any situation, since there tends to be some natural preference towards the original product. Just consider how hard it was when they swapped Darren on "Bewitched." I am a fan of Cleese, but the honest truth is that this role is just boring for him. The character has none of his signature flair or off-beat, subtle humor. To see Cleese at his best, watch "A Fish Called Wanda," a personal favorite.

Another slight snag of the film is that the writers felt they needed to change up the relationship between Clouseau and Nicole. The film does initially continue the comically awkward relationship developed in the previous movie. The two exchange pleasantries and pretend to ignore the awkward chemistry. But the relationship quickly evolves into something a little different for this film. The change is not altogether unsatisfactory, yet I could have happily enjoyed it if they would have played more off of the original setup. The innocent, off-beat relationship had not yet gotten old.

As far as sequels go, "The Pink Panther 2" does avoid the curse of being a complete flop, as so many are. And yet, I have not made any mention of the true original: the 1963 Peter Sellers version. I admit I have not viewed this classic and I hereby add the title to my prioritized "to see" list. For those of you who are familiar with its story, I acknowledge that the contemporized version probably does not compare to the original. However, this sequel is funny and entertaining if what you need is some brain candy.

Favortie Commercials

I realize this is something of a digression from the normal topic of this blog. However, I would like to recognize those commercials that have stood out to me as funny and/or memorable. That's right: I watch enough television that I have a list of my top ten favorite commercials.

Note: Some of the linked videos take a few minutes to load. For most of them, I suggest pausing the video and letting it buffer sufficiently beforehand. However, they are all worth the time!


A Countdown of my Top 11 Favorite Commercials:
(Why eleven instead of ten?.. These go to eleven. Thank you, Spinal Tap)

11.) Berliz - This is not a commercial I have seen on television, but a friend shared it with me and I think it is rather clever. Berliz is an international company for improving your English. The commercial is set at the headquarters for the German Coast Guard.

10.) HP Digital Photography - This commercial is creative and fun; plus it has a good song in the background, "Picture Book" by the Kinks. (Buffers slowly)

9.) Raisin Bran Crunch - Do you remember Johnson? This ad campaign is rather inspired. Linked, I have the commercial where we first meet Johnson and his frustrated boss. Other funny Johnson commercials: "Johnson, You're Fired" and "Johnson Gets an Intern" This comm

8.) Coke - This commercial is simple and beautiful. I enjoy the woman's voice and it's a cool concept that she is just walking down the sidewalk, handing out bottles of Coke. I think the song that she is singing is called "I Wish." (May load slowly)

7.) Citi Credit Card - City had this hilarious ad campaign for cards offering identity theft protection. Two of my favorites: (1) A middle-age man who had his identity stolen by a twenty-something female; (2) Two older ladies who had their identities stolen by a couple of rednecks. And those are just a couple from the series of inspired commercials in this campaign.

6.) Starbucks - Would it not be awesome to have a personal bad cheering you on? Glen's evidently the man. Also worth honorable mention: Hank.

5.) Chevy - Now this one just makes me laugh every time. I favor those car commercials that have a little humor instead of the artsy "this car is so sexy" ads.

4.) Geico - Come on, you have a favorite Geico commercial don't you? Whoever does their advertising simply knows how to come up with memorable ads time and time again. Below I have linked a few representatives of my favorite campaigns:

(1) "So easy, a caveman could do it." - This particular ad has one of the cavemen visiting a therapist. The quality of the video isn't the best, but you can get the general idea. For a montage of Cavemen clips click here. Almost all of them are worth a viewing.
(2) "... We've hired a celebrity to help tell her story." - Featuring Mrs. Buttersworth; the best part of this commercial is at the very end when the Geico logo shows on the screen.
(3) "I just saved a bunch of money..." - Parker Solution to Hairloss - your typical hair loss commercial? (Takes a while to buffer, but worth it)

3.) Cingular - Best cell phone commercial I can remember. A mother and daughter "fight" about cell phones. This looks like it would have been a really fun ad to shoot.

2.) This is an ad - Genius: a beer commercial of a huge chorus singing to the tune of "Carmina Barana" and running through a field in different colored robes. Props to the Australians for coming up with the best beer commercial I have ever seen.

And my favorite commercial, which never fails to make me giggle:

1.) Pet Smart - You may know I have a penchant for dauchshunds. Perhaps that is why this is my favorite commercial, but it's also just gosh darn cute. Watch through to the end - the best part is when the weiner dog is getting checked out at the register of Petsmart.


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Other notable, funny commercials:

- Wear the fox hat
- Orbit gum
- Pepsi

"If it's not baroque, don't fix it."

Winter pick-me-ups
(Lawrentian, published Feb. 13, 2009)


Welcome to that part of winter term when everyone is tired of the lack of sunlight, negative temperatures, increasing stress, lack of sleep and midterms. If you are anything like me, you probably need to find a few pick-me-ups to make it through to spring term. Here are some different types of movies that might help.

A childhood favorite: Revisiting a favorite from your younger days is not only a good trip down memory lane, but also a good way to see things that you missed the first few times around. Classic Disney films, for example, are filled with witty jokes that soar above the heads of younger crowds, yet now you can fully appreciate the humor. When revisiting "Beauty and the Beast," I actually understood jokes such as Cogsworth's "If it's not baroque, don't fix it." Furthermore, I thoroughly enjoyed the satirical hilarity that is Gaston.

Other recommendations for childhood favorites: "The Neverending Story," "Aladdin," "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang," and "Hercules."


A Pixar flick: I do not know anyone who can honestly say that a Pixar film does not bring a smile to his/her face. Each Pixar film is witty, well-written, happy, and the humor is suited to all ages. Furthermore, the animated shorts that accompany each feature offer ample entertainment even after multiple viewings. My personal favorite, "For the Birds," never fails to brighten my day. Other excellent shorts include "Presto" and "Geri's Game." These animated shorts are a quick, guaranteed way to get a laugh.

For feature films, I highly recommend "Monsters, Inc.," "The Incredibles," and "Finding Nemo."


A romantic comedy: Occasionally it hits the spot just right to see everything work out picture-perfect -- especially if it does so without gag-me clichés or being too predictable. The power-hitter of unique romantic comedies has to be "Bridget Jones's Diary." Bridget is quirky, awkward and often puts her foot in her mouth -- and she still manages to get the guy in the end. "Music and Lyrics" also showcases a unique plot, hilarious beginning music video, and completely satisfying finish.

Other stellar romantic comedies: "10 Things I Hate About You" and "Funny Girl."


A laugh-out-loud comedy: Sometimes the best pick-me-up comes in the form of the mindless, ridiculous, low-brow comedy. For these times, I often screen Ben Stiller and/or Will Ferrell movies. Notable works: "Mystery Men," "Zoolander," "Old School," and "Blades of Glory." Other comedies tend less towards the ridiculous, yet provide just as many quotable lines. For crude-free hilarity, I highly recommend "Heavyweights" and "Cool Runnings." For catchy, energetic, comical musical numbers, I recommend "The Producers." I particularly suggest keeping an eye out for the number "Keep It Gay."


There are numerous other films that cheer me up and I could easily fill a whole column with merely naming them all. However, my most important advice for de-stressing film viewing is to find a flick that will make you laugh. Furthermore, find a good friend with which to watch. Not only is viewing more friendly with two or more, but you can then later quote memorable lines for additional laughs.

"It was written."

Movie Review: "Slumdog Millionaire"
(Lawrentian, published Jan. 30 2009)

When a movie receives mass attention from talk shows and award committees, I take a second to consider whether the film is really worth it. "Slumdog Millionaire" soared into our collective attention after little hype or publicity before its release. Now it enjoys numerous award nominations, wins and high praises. I had to find out for myself if it is worth its 10 Oscar nominations.

Synopses and previews did not prepare me for the intensity of this movie. I was primed for an uplifting story about what it means to live and love. Its premise: a teen becomes a contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" in hopes that a girl will be watching.

Thus, I was surprised by images of torture, violent religious persecution and child abuse. Thankfully these intense scenes do not linger long and the audience is spared from witnessing excessive violence. However, consider this fair warning that there are disturbing and intense scenes.

And thank goodness for the spurts of levity intermingled with these heavy scenes. They remind the audience that life is not all depression and struggle. The greatest high of the film is its concluding Bollywood-style dance number. This fun, energetic scene is just the right kind of upper needed after the film's intensity. Perhaps every movie should end with an energetic dance number.

Another highlight of the film is its unfailingly upbeat soundtrack. If "Slumdog" wins no other Oscars this season - and I predict it will - it undoubtedly deserves awards for music. The energetic blend of Indian and American styles supplements the action onscreen instead of detracting from it. Both nominated songs - "Jai Ho" and "O... Saya" - are well-deserving of the Oscar.

The song "Paper Planes" also complements the plot by emphasizing developing differences between brothers Salim and Jamal. Showcasing the clanging of a cash register and rhythmic gunshots, the song alludes to a culture that overvalues money and force as means to secure what one wants. In short, the soundtrack is amazing.

Another artistic complement to the storyline is the end credits. Each character is portrayed at three stages of life and thus three actors comprise each role. In the credits, all three actors who share one role are presented simultaneously. This artfully underscores the film's idea that no stage in life is more important than any other - all experiences are important and formative.

And though its praises are plentiful, I must note one handicap: the shaky camera. This movie is complex and at times fast-paced and confusing. The nauseatingly shaky camera detracts from the enjoyment and understanding of the film, especially in the beginning, while the audience is studiously attempting to orient themselves within the story.

Even considering the shaky camera, I highly recommend "Slumdog Millionaire." It is not a movie that will be easily forgotten. I withhold judgment on its Best Picture nod until I screen other nominees. However, it has guts and emotional pull comparable to past winners "Crash" or "American Beauty." "Slumdog" might sweep the Oscars this year.

Fe Brewery

Sometimes I look at my calendar and think to myself: It's still January?? This month has been long and filled with graduate school applications, the start of Winter Term, and the beginning of award season, in which stations over-fixate on who's wearing what and spend far too little time considering the merits of the actual movies.

But the subcategory of movies that are up for awards is not the only worthwhile viewing for the upcoming month. Oscar nominees promise artsy composition and storylines that will not soon be forgotten. However, sometimes you need something a little less heavy, a little more indulgent to your personal viewing habits. So without further ado, I would like to draw readers' attention to the movies coming in February that might not get enough attention amidst all the award hubub.

Box Office Releases:

February doesn't look like a big month for box office releases. I suppose this makes sense, since a lot of the Oscar nominees will be dominating the screens. However, I will mention a few films that are receiving some hype.

1. "The Pink Panther 2" (Feb. 6) - I hope that this movie does not fall victim to the sequel curse. Not having seen the original series of Pink Panther movies, I cannot say how the newer Steve Martin films compare. However, the first film is entertaining and worth a viewing for some light fun. Steve Martin does reprise his role in the second film, as does Jean Reno for his stoic and competent sidekick (the two have good comic interplay). Kevin Cline does not return for the second film, though his role will be played by the amazing John Cleese! I know that a good cast does not equal a good movie, but Martin and Cleese have had enjoyable comic flair in the past.

2. "He's Just Not That Into You" (Feb. 6) - This movie's premise suggests it could really annoy me. Yet another movie about how women misunderstand men, men are jerks, etc -- not the most original topic. However, it is based on a well-acclaimed book and it does boast quite the impressive list of famous actors: Scarlett Johansson, Justin Long, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, and Drew Barrymore, to name a few. In short, this movie has a lot of star power behind it. However, some of these actors are best known for some of those cookie-cutter romantic comedies, so it's a little hard to tell how impressive this movie might be.

3. "Confessions of a Shopaholic" (Feb. 13) - Another adaptation from a book, this movie looks like it will be bubblegum fun. It's obviously a romantic comedy and it's obviously not going to win any awards for depth or provocativeness. However, the previews make it look energetic, fun, and entertaining. Perhaps it will be a good movie for a girls' night out.







DVD Releases:

1. "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist" (Feb. 3) - This movie manages to be a sweet teen romantic comedy without all the gag-reflex cliches. The dialogue is refreshingly awkward -- which makes the movie more believable and identifiable, since high schoolers ARE awkward. It is real, in all of its awkward glory and obvious lameness that makes us laugh. Everyone can identify with the feeling of not having that pefectly witting thing to say. In particular, I am a fan of Michael Cera, who deftly portrays this high school awkwardness and angst. Any friend who wishes to view this movie, I have a hunch that it will soon join my collection.

2. "The Secret Life of Bees" (Feb. 3) - I have yet to see this film, though I hear it is a very touching adaptation of the novel by Sue Monk Kidd. The film boasts a very talented cast, including Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, and Jennifer Hudson. Let me know if you have reactions to the film.


3. "Religulous" (Feb. 17) - A Bill Maher documentary discussing religion. Maher interviews believers of different faiths and inspects some of religion's 'ridiculous' implications. Some synopses say the documentary mocks religion, but the film might be an interesting look at different belief systems and how they contradict. It would at least be interesting to see how the film inspects and talks about religion.

4. "Sex Drive" (Feb. 24) - I have no way of knowing whether or not this movie is actually worth your viewing time. Premise: a high school senior and his buddies take a road trip cross-country so he can hook up with a girl he met online. Obviously this is going to be a stupid-comedy sort of movie, not worth the attention of all movie-watchers. However, if you're in the mood for a brainless comedy and can tolerate some unnecessary humor, it might be worth a laugh or two. I have heard mention that the comedy is reminiscent of "Superbad," if that gives you any indication of what to expect.


And of course there are other films coming to DVD, such as the highly anticipated "High School Musical 3" or "Zach and Miri Make a Porno." But are those really worth mentioning?

"Report back to me when it makes sense."

Movie Review: "Burn After Reading"
(Lawrentian, published Jan. 23, 2009)

Movies typically portray our government as smooth-running, secretive, intelligent and highly powerful. Agents are suave, mysterious, sparing of words and intimidating, decked out in suits and aviator shades while toting briefcases with confidential materials. These movies typically portray the government as skilled, knowledgeable and always in control. However, "Burn After Reading" is not a typical movie.

The Cohen brothers completely overthrow this image of government relations with two clueless gym employees, played by Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt. When this overzealous duo finds a disk containing trivial CIA information, they manage to cause quite a lot of trouble and mass confusion for the government and everyone around them, including the audience.

And thus I cannot help but give the movie props for its original storyline. True, I watched most of "Burn After Reading" with my mouth hanging open and a very confused look on my face. When the credits rolled, I even checked online synopses just to see if I had missed some detail that would make sense out of the confusion.

But the confused, loose-knit storyline is part of the film's charm. The point: some actions are simply irrational, impulsive and ill-advised. The audience's confusion mirrors the confusion of the characters, which is all terribly appropriate for a movie whose tag line is "Intelligence is relative."

Besides its unique plot, the movie receives originality points for its captivating character lineup. George Clooney yet again provides the face for the suave charmer, but with a few perverse twists. Brad Pitt plays an energetic-but-dim fitness instructor whose hair defies gravity. Tilda Swinton plays an uptight adulteress with frigidity reminiscent of her role as the White Witch of Narnia, and John Malkovich plays an angry CIA retiree who swears profusely and sports a bathrobe and a scotch for most of the movie.

The standout performance, however, comes from Frances McDormand. She plays an ordinary, insecure-but-determined woman whose sole mission is to find enough money for a series of "necessary" plastic surgeries. Her ordinariness and insecurity are identifiable and her cluelessness is highly comical. Furthermore, her facial expressions are second only to the dance moves busted out by Pitt.

"Burn After Reading" is entertaining, often funny, and yes, I will watch it again, if only to better understand it in its entirety. However, I recommend it with a few qualifications. This movie is for people who: i) have an open sense of humor, ii) do not mind weird movies and iii) do not mind being a little confused. Just be forewarned: This is not your typical comedy.

More 'Spiderman' On the Way

While researching another film, I was surprised to run across the news that there are plans for a fourth installment in the "Spiderman" series. This news comes as surprising because: (1) Tobey Maguire had reported having back problems during filming Spidey 2 and was unsure whether he could make it through the 2nd (and 3rd) movie(s); (2) Trilogies are common and there was a lot of buzz about the 3rd movie being the final one; (3) Kirsten Dunst had reported in interviews that she would play Mary Jane for the last time in the 3rd movie, regardless of if more were made; and (4) The 3rd movie was beyond sub-par.

Can movie execs resurrect the Spidey series? Plans for the fourth movie are still sketchy, but here's the gossip:

1: Not only is a fourth movie in the works, but the script writer is working on a storyline that would span two movies. If all this holds, movies 4 and 5 could be filmed and produced simultaneously.
2: The 4th movie will have the same director as all of the previous films (Sam Raimi). Hopefully Raimi can recapture whatever worked for 1 and 2. How much of a movie's sub-par-ness is due to directing?
3: Maguire is signed on to again play Spiderman. Good; whether or not this ship sinks, it won't be sinking because of a major casting change. However, note to Maguire: your performance as Emo-Spiderman in 3 was tacky, cliche, and over-the-top. Hopefully the acting for 4 will be more character-appropriate, believable, genuine.
4: Dunst has been non-commital in interviews about her involvment in the film. However, there was supposedly an interview with MTV where she said she was 'in.' So much for stopping at 3. If we do enjoy her talents in 4, hopefully they will not include the whininess and damsel-in-distress performance of 3.

Let us cross our fingers that the Spidey movies can get back on track.

Also, there's talk of a spin-off for Venom from "Spiderman 3," though the film execs are not so sure about casting Topher Grace again in the role. Supposedly they worry that he cannot carry an entire film by himself -- probably true in this case, since he has more good-guy charm than is compatible with a villain.

According to spiderman4news.com: "After the success of 'The Dark Knight' [the folks over at Sony] see an opening for a movie based on a villain." What poor reasoning to make this film. Heath Ledger produced a brilliant performance as the Joker that was complex and believable. I fail to see how the success of this legend could translate to that of a second-rate villain from a huge disappointment of a movie.